Am I purposely setting myself up to never fall in love? So I went out with Matt last night and I just didn't like him at all. He is 19 and had never been kissed... I am just not looking to have to teach a guy, he is rather boring, I just worry that I am writing him off too soon because I am nervous or because I don't know him. But then again, so far everything I have seen I dont really like. I want to love someone so badly, but I don't just want it to be anyone. I want a manly man. I was trying to compare Matt to Devin, cause they are somewhat similar, but even Devin pressured Bri into having sex... I dont think Matt even knows what sex is hahaha. That was mean. I don't care! I just don't think I like him. I feel badly though because I kissed him and he had never been kissed before which probably led him on, but I couldn't not kiss him! and he is practically planning our wedding now and I just don't know what to do. I just prefer getting to know people through groups and then actually dating them once I get to know them. I don't like having to get to know someone one on one, its just hard to keep a conversation going for a long time and maybe one day when I feel the magic it won't be awkward. but last night, it just was.
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