Jessye left for college yesterday, and i'm suddenly faced with the realization that I have no idea who I am without BBYO. I desperately need a new hobby and I guess it will have to become my new life, is it so wrong to just want one more year? It's really hard to stay here and not be able to carry on my life like normal, I miss having full weekends and a week with Ashrey. I miss being really busy, i'm just not the do nothing type. I am going to try to find a job this week and make myself more busy... but I just miss having people that I could depend on no matter what. I feel like everyone who is like that doesn't live locally, or is no longer as close with me as they were before. I just want a rock in my life, someone who wont leave me, someone who gets me, loves me, idk, i dont think its that much to ask. Hopefully things start to get better after I start the BBYO job and get another job, possibly at the Jcorps thing I will meet some new jewish friends and just get my life back on track. I don't regret staying, but I need to make something of my life so that my brain stays with that thought for longer than just right now.
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