Sometimes, I wish I was able to get over things more quickly than I do. I have spent the last couple of days obsessing over whether I was allowed to facebook chat my ex-boyfriend. How insane is that? I had a really crazy dream last night, where my best friend was making out with him in a swimming pool, so I looked up what that meant on dream analyzer and it said,"a swimming pool suggests that you need to acknowledge and understand your feelings, its time to dive in and deal with those emotions. You need to cleanse yourself and wash away those past hurts," so I felt that this had to mean something and decided to do something about it.
So finally tonight I worked up the courage to do it and I have no idea what I was so afraid of... I mean we just talked like normal people for a while and then, here is the weird part. We both said that we had to go, at the same time. I know its wrong and crazy and insane to be like this, but he was the first guy I ever loved and I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting to be friends. If its what helps me move on, then I think I should be allowed to. Fuck what every else says and thinks. I will get over things how I want to, when I want to. Thank you very much. I feel better tonight than I have in a long time.
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